


chronostasis

by animesukcs



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Insomnia, M/M, Night walks, kinda dreamy i guess, this is set in summer so if anyone's missing the heat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-30 21:59:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17231966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animesukcs/pseuds/animesukcs
Summary: As if having felt the older's eyes on him, Changkyun turns to look at him.They lock eyes. Something tightens in the pit of his stomach, warm, nervous.“Do you know what chronostasis is?”





	chronostasis

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! i usually don't write a lot and when i do it's not really mx and never really anything serious,, so i hope u still enjoy this!! let me know what u think!!!  
> inspiration: kinokoteikoku-chronostasis ([song](https://open.spotify.com/track/6Mavd9uk89Y9OTdvcDTfGG?si=olIxIqR0RaKNow_aSbYlIQ)/[lyrics](https://www.lyrical-nonsense.com/lyrics/kinoko-teikoku/chronostasis/))

Hyungwon can‘t sleep.

It happens, unfortunately—sometimes there's just, too many thoughts. It's not like something in particular is keeping him up. It's just that sometimes there's just too many thoughts in his head, running, but never slow enough that Hyungwon could catch and untangle them. And then maybe there's some thoughts he does not want to untangle, even though deep down he knows that maybe he should.

Lying on his bed, he exhales loudly and shuffles from his back to his side. His gaze falls on the empty bed on the other side of the room before he tears it away. In the dark his hands fumble for his phone on the bedside table. His eyes squint at the brightness when he unlocks it. The clock reads 2:17.

There's just a lot—to think about, to not think about. But he can't and won't focus so the thoughts just keep running, his head keeps buzzing, and Hyungwon is kept awake.

This happens sometimes. That doesn't make it less annoying.

Hyungwon lets out another lengthy exhale as he grabs his phone and pulls it close, opening the messaging app.

 

> you're still working

 

It's not a question. The bed is empty. It's the middle of the night. There's nothing to ask.

The reply comes after less than a minute.

 

< you can't sleep?

 

It's a question, but it's also not. He knows by now. They both do. It's happened often enough. Even more so recently, and Hyungwon wishes he could blame it on the weather or anything else, really. The heat in Seoul has been unbearable, admittedly—summers are like that here, temperatures so high during the day that going out is the last thing on anyone's mind, and at night they barely drop below 30°C. But their dorm is cool and airconditioned and the unbearable heat outside should not matter to Hyungwon. And it doesn't. There's just...other things.

 

> you shouldn't be working this late

> you need to rest

 

Immediately, another text pops up.

 

< you do too.

< come over?

 

Hyungwon types the reply as he pushes himself up, slides to the side of his bed and his bare feet come to hit the cold ground.

 

> i'll be there in 20

 

 

 

Hyungwon stands in front of the building and slips his phone out of his pocket. The clock reads 2:44. Slipping it back, he lets his head fall back. He wishes he could see the stars from here, but living in one of the biggest cities of the world makes it, even with a clear sky, a rare sight. Maybe in autumn.

“Hey.” The deep voice pulls Hyungwon out of his thoughts and he lifts his head back up. He turns around.

Changkyun gives him a soft smile as he walks towards him, hands stuffed into the pockets of his sweatpants. Hyungwon forces himself not to let his eyes linger on his legs.

“Hey.” He smiles back. When the younger boy reaches his side he turns around again and together they start walking without another word.

A couple blocks down, they stop in front of a convenience store. Changkyun waits outside as Hyungwon enters the store alone to buy a can of beer for himself and a strawberry popsicle for the younger. As per usual. Hyungwon recalls their first night walk together and how Changkyun's face had scrunched up after having taken a sip from Hyungwon's can.

 _“I don_ _´_ _t know how you can drink this”_ , he had said, shaking his head, _“and besides”_ , he'd added with a triumphant smile as he'd pulled out a strawberry popsicle from the freezer in the convenience store, _“ice cream is much better in this heat than a drink.”_

Hyungwon smiles at the memory and pockets his change. When he steps back out on the street he is met with a wall of heat, the humid air immediately sticking to his skin again. He hands Changkyun the popsicle and gets a smile as a thanks, and side by side they continue strolling down the street.

The shortest way from the company to their dorm is about a 15 minute walk. On nights like these, they take the lounger route—walking down to the river and alongside it for a while instead of simply walking through streets surrounded by countless blocks of grey. It's quite a walk, but Hyungwon doesn't mind. He enjoys the walking, especially at night. It gives him time to think, or at least, to breathe. As idols their lives are busy and loud—at night, it's calm. For once, there's no rush.

“It‘s gotten worse with you”, Changkyun mumbles around the popsicle in his mouth, side eyeing the older.

He doesn't have to clarify. It's no secret he has trouble sleeping sometimes, that he'll toss and turn before he inevitably decides to go for a walk because that's one of the only things that calms him down. All the members know, just maybe not fully how bad it really is. Their maknae however, always working even into the depth of the night, is who he ends up spending those nights with more often than not. One day Hyungwon's nightly walk led him past the studio, and ever since they seem to lead there most of the time and Changkyun will walk together with him.

But he is right—it's gotten more frequent. There's...an issue Hyungwon does not want to think about, so he won't. And, well. Maybe having Changkyun by his side is not helping to solve the problem at all, but Hyungwon has never been particularly good at taking care of himself.

He takes a sip of his beer and hums. The cold liquid flowing down his throat is a welcome contrast to the heat.

“Just a lot on my mind I guess.”

Changkyun turns his head towards him as they walk, waiting. Hyungwon looks at him and their eyes lock for a short moment. Somehow it feels like more than that. Something tugs at his heart and he averts his eyes, taking another sip of his beer.

“It's just”, he continues in a quiet voice, “a lot. But I still can't make out anything so it's like...” He trails off.

Changkyun hums in acknowledgement. His left hand, the one that is not holding his popsicle, finds Hyungwon‘s right forearm. With the softest touch his fingers trail down his wrist until their hands are right beside each other. He links their pinkies.

“Like static.” His lips tug into a half smile for a moment. Hyungwon can't do anything but stare even when the younger has already turned away again.

Changkyun, he thinks, is...one of a kind. Hyungwon used to write, back before he became an idol. And he kept writing for a while, too, after they debuted, but the more time passes, the less time he has. Nowadays it's rare for him to want to write anymore. He was never good at it anyway. But sometimes, feelings will still wash over him and his fingertips will start to itch. He will pull up the notes on his phone just to try and capture the moment, even if the words he gets out usually don't do his feelings justice. Sometimes, some things will take his breath away and he will wish he could find the right words. Sometimes—most times actually, those things are Changkyun.

Hyungwon wraps his pinky more tightly around Changkyun's and smiles to himself.

“Like static”, he repeats.

Always Changkyun.

They walk in silence then, the older sipping on his beer and the younger concentrated on making sure nothing of the quickly melting popsicle will drip to the ground. The river comes into view, and with pinkies still linked they walk along the water, the lights of the city reflected in the soft waves.

If he could, Hyungwon would stay in this moment forever. He likes the walking, the quiet and the calm that night brings—but maybe what he likes most about his night walks is the company. The younger is always just...there. He never pushes but he cares, and sometimes they talk while other times they don't, enjoying the comfortable silence between them.

Every time, the static quiets down.

Always Changkyun.

Changkyun's finger loosens its grip. Hyungwon looks up to see he has finished the popsicle and is holding out his hand for his empty beer can.

“I wasn't working much tonight”, the younger confesses as he throws both items in the trash can on the side of the way. When he comes back to Hyungwon's side he pushes his hands into his pockets. “I couldn't focus.”

He stares at Changkyun who is looking at the city skyline at the other side of the river as they're walking. The city lights reflect in his eyes and it almost looks like stars.

“Static?”, Hyungwon asks with a small smile.

The corners of the younger's mouth tug upwards and he looks at Hyungwon for a moment before focusing back on the city. “Not quite.”

Hyungwon doesn't press.

 

After a few more moments of walking in silence, they reach their usual spot. A bit off the track there's a stairway leading down to the water and they walk over, settling in the middle of it. Faced forwards, they are looking at the water, the city, the lights.

Inevitably, Hyungwon's head turns and his gaze falls onto the younger boy. The red and whites of the city still reflect in Changkyun's eyes and the moonlight falls through his hair and on his profile in a way that almost looks magical. Hyungwon wishes he had the words. There is something about tonight but...he can't quite place it. Everything is the same—the streets, the river, the lights—except somehow, it isn‘t.

As if having felt the older's eyes on him, Changkyun turns to look at him.

They lock eyes. Something tightens in the pit of his stomach, warm, nervous.

“Do you know what chronostasis is?”

Yeah, there is definitely something about tonight.

Afraid that speaking will somehow disrupt the moment, he only gives a light shake of his head. The light specks reflected in the younger's eyes dance.

Without breaking eye contact either, Changkyun shifts closer and slowly leans in and suddenly it's harder to breathe. Hyungwon watches with wide eyes as the other boy closes the space between them in what feels like slow motion. The heat in his stomach grows warmer, more nervous. When he feels Changkyun's warm breath lightly grazing his lips, his eyes flutter shut.

And then, Changkyun is kissing him.

His lips are soft against his—light, barely there, unmoving, and it's nothing like Hyungwon ever imagined their first kiss to be (and oh, has he imagined), but it's also so much more. The knots that had built in his stomach untangle, one by one, completely, and the nervous heat dissipates, a comfortable warmth seeping through every inch of his body.

Before he can even think to react, to reciprocate, Changkyun pulls back again—barely, but just enough for his eyes to search for the older's, a silent question in his gaze. Hyungwon is determined to answer. He takes a deep breath and licks his lips before he leans back in.

Their lips meet again.

Hyungwon moves his mouth against the other's this time, softly, and he feels another small knot located at his heart unravel when Changkyun kisses back.

This kiss, too, is nothing Hyungwon ever imagined and more than he could ever ask for. It‘s slow and it's sweet and Hyungwon loses himself in it. Loses himself in the lips moving against his, in the warm hand that finds its way to the back of his head, in the faint sweetness of strawberry when Changkyun‘s tongue finally slips into his mouth, in the quiet sighs from both of them.

Loses himself in Changkyun.

Always Changkyun.

 

When the younger slowly breaks away again after what feels like forever, their noses still almost touching, Hyungwon is still entranced. Changkyun's fingers play gently with the hair at his nape and he wants nothing more than to lean back in, to kiss him again.

But Changkyun pulls back a little more, eyes lingering on Hyungwon's before he turns away once more, facing the river. They're closer now, their sides are pressed together now, and the younger's hand and gaze drop to Hyungwon's lap, taking his bigger hand in his smaller one. With his other hand, he starts tracing the lines on his palm with the softest touch.

Hyungwon watches him. A light breeze makes the younger's hair sway softly. He still looks ethereal, Hyungwon thinks, from up close even more so. Almost like he isn't real in that moment. Almost like a dream.

“Chronostasis”, Changkyun's voice is quiet when he speaks, “is a phenomenon where the clocks appear to have stopped. Like time isn't moving like it should.”

The corners of his lips curl upwards slightly, but Hyungwon can tell there is some uncertainty and sadness to it. It makes his heart clench uncomfortably.

“It's like time isn't real for a moment. Almost like a dream.”

The finger tracing Hyungwon's palm stops moving and he finally looks up again, the same unsure smile still on his lips. There's still questions running around Hyungwon's head, too, so many questions—but with Changkyun, the static, the constant buzzing of his thoughts, seems more like background noise. There's a lot of things he's still unsure about, but maybe he doesn't need to know all the answers. Not right now, anyway.

“If this is a dream”, he interlaces their fingers and locks eyes with the younger again, “then don't wake me.”

For a few seconds Changkyun stares at him with wide eyes. Then, his face shifts and he lets out a little laugh, chin falling to his chest and eyes turning into little crescents. He grins up at Hyungwon.

He can't help but let out a small laugh, too. He squeezes the younger's hands.

Breaking out into giggles again, Changkyun lets himself fall forward a little, forehead coming to rest against Hyungwon's collar bones.

“That was so..”

“Yeah, I know”, Hyungwon laughs. His chest feels light.

Their laughter ebbs out and Changkyun raises his head, looking up at Hyungwon with a big smile and soft eyes. Hyungwon doesn't have the words but this time he doesn't need to. He frees his hand from where it's still entangled with the other's and lifts it to brush a stray strand of hair away from his eyes. Hyungwon feels unbelievably and impossibly in love.

Changkyun's eyes flutter close and he leans into the touch when Hyungwon cards his fingers through his hair and cups his head. He looks so, so beautiful, Hyungwon thinks. Something in his chest squeezes a little.

“So, tonight”, he says, voice barely audible, “it's not just...” He trails off. The answer seems obvious, but he can‘t help the tightness around his heart. This he needs to know. His thumb brushes over Changkyun's cheek and the younger blinks his eyes open slowly, frowning a little.

“Even when this moment's gone, this...we're gonna stay like this, right?”

Changkyun's brows draw together even more and his eyes soften. His left hand comes up to where Hyungwon's is still cupping his face.

“Do you want us to?”

Changkyun's hand on his feels warm. Hyungwon nods.

“Well then”, his hand squeezes around the older boy's as he brings them to rest at his neck instead of his cheek. He rests his head on their hands and smiles. “Yeah.”

Hyungwon releases the breath he doesn't know he has been holding and exhales shakily, laughing. Happy.

Changkyun presses a soft kiss to his wrist. He smiles against Hyungwon's skin.

“When I couldn't focus on work tonight, this is what I was thinking about.”

Hyungwon tilts his head a little.

“Us”, the younger clarifies. Taking their hands from his neck back to the space between them, he pulls Hyungwon closer gently and leans closer, too. Their lips meet once more.

Changkyun pulls back smiling. “You.”

The look on his face is so fond, and Hyungwon feels blood rush to his cheeks. Changkyun laughs before leaning in again and as with their first kiss, this time, too, Hyungwon feels himself unravel at the touch of the other's lips.

Always Changkyun.

 

They stay there at the river a while longer. Kissing, as time passes slowly and passes too fast.

When they finally make their way back it must be close to sunrise, but Hyungwon doesn't really mind. The air around them is still sticky and warm, and their fingers are slightly sweaty where they're interlaced. The city and his thoughts are strangely quiet. With Changkyun next to him, the two of them walking in comfortable silence, it's the most peaceful he's felt in weeks.

Careful not to make any sound to wake the others, they make their way into their dorm. Somehow Changkyun ends up in his bed with him, chest pressed against Hyungwon´s back and nose buried in his neck. Their skin feels sticky from spending the night outside and it should be gross, but it really isn't.

Hyungwon unlocks and locks his phone one last time to check the time before he places it on his night stand and tries to snuggle even closer against the body behind him. The bed on the other side of the room is still untouched and he smiles as he closes his eyes, tired. Changkyun's arm around his waist tightens.

The clock reads 2:45.

Hyungwon sleeps.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twt !! [x](https://twitter.com/kihyunsucks)


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